Monday, April 23, 2012

Where ARE the Steampunk POC?

I get this question sometimes. Sometimes they're from other POC who grouse about how white steampunk is. Sometimes they're from white people. 

But a lot of times I hear it, though, I feel like I've received a demand, prove you exist, prove that this is even a relevant topic of conversation. Where ARE they? Why are they not nicely paraded right in front of me so I can bask in their coloured state of being? Even on the nicer end of the spectrum, there's a burden of responsibility on me to point people of colour out. 

But I guess what with exposure and all, I should answer the question since I keep getting it. So now, I am going to tell you where the steampunk POC are! Are you ready?
OK, so, under the Pacific Ocean, beneath the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, there is an underwater city. The garbage patch hides its magnificent dome, you see, and the inhabitants create energy using the garbage as fuel; the plastics are re-processed into petroleum, the organic trashed recycled into humus for plants, things like that. 

All the steampunk POC live there. We get there because there is a special magical POC gene which provides us with the innate knowledge of how to get there.


OK OK OK, that was stupid. 

The REAL story is....


Yeah, I wouldn't buy it either. 

So, really, there is this giant rock in the Gobi Desert, and it is a secret passage to an underground base where all steampunk POC go to to chill from all the whiteness we see in steampunk. It's nice and cool and dark there, and it's completely fucking decked out with a huge entertainment system and theatre stage and computers and ginormous kitchen and shiz so we can do whatever the fuck we want out of the sight of the White Gaze.


It is made possible because Janus Zarate is Batman.

Yeah. Really! For realsies really! 

Where ARE the steampunk POC? Hey steampunk POC, where ARE you?


  1. Personally, I like to take the Great Pacific Garbage Patch route as the coral palace of the people looks so beautiful and the fish taste lovely. But, hey, what's the first rule about the GPGP? Last time I saw you down there grooving to that rockin' whalesong, what did we tell ya? "Jaymee, a little bit of discretion 'cause you know they'll only wreck our fun if they find out."

  2. [hides utility belt and cape]

    She lies! I'm not Batman!

    All of the steampunk POC are living in a fleet of mobile homes just like the Neverwas Haul, except they're boats and submersible craft instead. They're led by none other than Captain Nemo - the OG steampunk POC. We regularly raid airships from "white" territories to steal their citizenship paperwork, mass-produced goods, and gossip publications (since real news has gone the way of the dodo).

    On a more serious note... I have some theories about why the question gets asked, and I have legitimate answers too.

    1. I'd like to hear those serious answers too. :) Apparently, at a con last weekend, that question came up, and considering the geographical location of the con, I was surprised it was a concern....


  3. Exoticland? I thought you knew? It's a great place, full of exotic vistas, exotic wildlife and, of course, exotic women. (Have I mentioned yet that it's a wonderfully exotic place? It totally is.)

    Non-POC are always welcome, for so long as they're willing to rescue us from a huge threat that we are somehow incapable of defeating on our own.

    1. Also they need to bring us amazing technological wonders that we don't understand because we're too in tune with the natural world to get it.

  4. Oh, sorry I hadn't been around much -- I was cruising in my secret underground laboratory; y'know the one beneath the volcano next to the jungle compound where I raise my army of velociraptors.

    But, as they say, if someone *really* wants to find a steampunk PoC, all they have to do is stare at their reflection in the bathroom mirror while the room is pitch dark, and at the stroke of midnight, murmur, "Steampunk PoC, Steampunk PoC, Steampunk PoC..." three times. But be careful -- one might appear in the mirror's reflection right behind you!

    ~ Ay-leen

  5. Some of us masquerade on the down low as writers...

  6. You know - I have been thinking about spores. We POC people are spores, all underground, all waiting for the rain to sprout. Wait a minute, you say we are like unicorns too? Then we will be hiding from evil evil hunters in a magical forest somewhere in the...

    -- Jolantru/Joyce

  7. I've been hiding in plain sight in Portland, Oregon for the longest time now. Ever since I took off that feather headdress and moved out of the teepee, people think I am a normal person. Well, maybe not quite normal; half-Hawaiian or part Italian or something. Everybody knows Native Americans are extinct!
    Mrs. S.

  8. I have perfected the ability to assimilate the "Valley Girl" voice which, thus, has allowed me the ability to cloak myself among the typical Utahns over the phone, so they don't realize who they speak with. To keep my secret identity, I stick to coming out at night only or hide in rainbows.

  9. I am actually a tree, that dreams he is a POC, that thinks he is a Steampunk.

  10. I have just been travelling back and forth between the secret back-alleys and passageways that connect all of the herbal medicine shops and underworld vice dens together, just like everyone else, using my Inscrutable Roamer Contraption, gathering my junk-powered horde. But now beware, for I fear I must tie you up to a railroad track for discovering my nefarious secret.